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Grandparenting… and striving to age in happiness and health

Grandparenting… and striving to age in happiness and health

When my grandson JJ celebrated his Bar Mitzvah last spring, I asked him what he wanted as a gift from Grandma. His answer: “I want to take a trip with you!” I was thrilled. I love to travel, of course, and I was utterly grateful that this energetic and amazing 13-year-old boy wanted to spend a week with me. It was a wonderful gift for us both. And boy, did we have an incredible time! However, there is one thing I would have changed if I could: my level of health and fitness.

Always the planner, JJ had cleared the idea with his parents long before making his request (I may be Grandma, but Mom and Dad still make the rules!). He had imagined us in Mexico, but after some research and a wonderful travel agent, we settled on Costa Rica. I had never been there, but it has a reputation for being great for families, chock full of activities, and reasonably priced. For my grandson, Costa Rica sounded exotic and exciting. JJ and I were Central America-bound!

As soon as we arrived, I knew we’d made a great choice. The resorts cater to American tourists, so communication is easy. There were lots of families and people of every age, and I loved watching these multiple generations enjoying their time together. The whole atmosphere was relaxed and comfortable, and it felt like the perfect tropical getaway but without the premium price tag. (Aside from the thermal waters in Arenal, complete with a swim-up lounge and a sushi bar which, I can attest, is crazy expensive when you are accompanied by your teenage grandson who happens to have a passion for sushi!) Our trip included a perfect balance of higher-end resorts and activities that took us away from the tourist area and into the surrounding country.

The further we ventured into the country, the more we learned about the people who live there. I loved talking to our driver, who told us where his family vacations (a wonderful rented cabin very near the expensive hotels) and shared that, thanks to the tourism industry, most families earn about $25K/year—a living wage in Costa Rica. With the help of local drivers, we did everything JJ had hoped for. We hurled down a mountain together on zip lines. We explored the Costa Rican jungle from river rafts. We snorkeled from a catamaran. We trekked over mountain terrain on ATVs. Whenever there was an hour or two to spare, JJ had a new plan—none of which included letting Grandma lounge in a hammock or read a book! Though I was able to get through the trip thanks to sheer willpower, I know it would have been a lot easier and enjoyable for me if I were in better shape. My sedentary lifestyle has taken its toll, which means I needed more time and more help to climb in and out of the jeep, climb to the top of the zip line, and even just walk wherever we wanted to go.

On the flight home, I couldn’t help but think back on how challenging it had been for me to keep up. Yes, JJ is 13 and has boundless energy, but there is no excuse for my physical state. When I stumbled across this list of 30 ThingsYou’ll Regret When You’re Old, number 7 hit home: Failing to make fitness a priority.I don’t consider myself “old”—at least not quite yet!—but I’m done with regret! It’s time to take health and fitness seriously. It’s time to make a change. I talk constantly to clients about ways to build better, happier lives as they age. In my blog, I’ve written that living a joyous life is as much about having financial freedom as it is about being mentally and physically healthy so you can enjoy every minute. It’s time I practice what I preach.

My late Uncle Joe was everyone’s favorite uncle—whether they were related to him or not. Years ago, he told me that the secret to meaningful relationships is sharing one-on-one experiences with others. Children. Adults. People you love, and people you wanted to like better. It’s some of the best advice I’ve ever received. However, Uncle Joe had gotten something else right too: a lifelong Manhattanite, his daily walks kept him fit and healthy as he aged.

My younger granddaughters Noa and Zoe are 11 and 9 respectively. A new goal of mine is to take similar trips with them when they celebrate their Bat Mitzvahs. However, this time, I plan to be fit enough to run circles around them. I've begun working with Nancy S—my new personal trainer. (If RBG can do it, so can I.)  I’m changing how I eat and how I live. My body is going to be with me for the rest of my life. I’ve finally decided to give it the attention it deserves. So get ready to try to catch me, Noa and Zoe, because your new and improved Grandma is on her way!

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Security vs. Freedom (and the magnificent merits of flying business class)

Security vs. Freedom (and the magnificent merits of flying business class)

I’m writing today swimming in jet lag after a week spent (literally) swimming with the fish in Fiji. And while it may be true that every vacation creates a mental shift of sorts (if for no other reason than that it takes us away from our daily routines), this particular trip was unprecedented in the impact of that shift. What was this dramatic change? After decades of helping others as a financial advisor, I’ve finally found my own internal abundance. I’ve finally been able to rise above the very basic need for financial security and embrace the ultimate goal: financial freedom.

Before you jump ahead and think I won the lottery during my travels (I didn’t!), let me take a step back to clarify.

Whenever I sit down with a client to begin the financial planning process, one of the first questions I ask is this: “What is important about money, to you?” In most cases, I receive one of two responses. The majority of people, regardless of income level or accumulated wealth, will begin with “security.” A small percentage (who admittedly tend to seem unusually at ease) will name “freedom” as their fundamental goal. For all the years I’ve been asking this question, I’ve always understood the need for security more. After all, who in her right mind wants to end up being a bag lady with no resources and no financial security to save her from the abyss?

I come to this scarcity perspective honestly. Raised by depression-era parents who saved everything from used tin foil to pennies, the fear of “not enough” was drilled into me from day one. Our family was frugal to a fault. Then, after becoming a single mother in my 20s, saving my pennies mattered more than ever. The responsibility to have enough to give my children was a heavy weight to bear. I expect this is why I was drawn to my career when I was. After all, the more I knew about money, the more security I could control, right? And though I’ve worked hard to have the skills and knowledge to help my clients plan for their financial security, I realize that I was never completely at ease with money myself. Did I have enough? Certainly. But whenever I saw friends spending on what seemed to be frivolous purchases, I caught myself asking, “How can you spend that money today when you might need it tomorrow?”

Fast-forward to two weeks ago when I boarded my flight to Fiji. For the first time, I had allowed myself to splurge on the luxury of a business-class ticket. Even as I walked onto the plane, I questioned what prompted me to spend a big chunk of my budget on a bit more leg room, a personal sleep kit (as if I don’t already have eye shades), and real food and drinks. But when I settled into my relatively monstrous seat, I had to confess it felt pretty darned good! When the flight attendant handed me a warm scented towel and invited me to “sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight,” I thought that, for once, I might actually do just that.

And I did. When we landed in Fiji more than 11 hours later, I was refreshed and ready to go. While I am sometimes apprehensive about meeting new people, especially an assigned roommate on a dive trip (Will I like her? Will she like me?), this time I felt light and almost giddy. More than anything, at the end of that flight, I felt empowered.

Once I settled in at the hotel, I learned that out of a group of ten, only three of us were planning to dive. The rest of our group were there to snorkel and enjoy the sights above sea level. So our band of three became fast and close friends, and in everything we did together, I felt more buoyant than ever—physically, mentally, and even spiritually—both in and out of the water. When we were diving, my buoyancy was amazing. I was breathing easily (not gulping air in fear of not having enough) and in my relaxed state, I found myself just hanging in the water—not sinking to the bottom or floating to the surface, but balanced and at ease. I was more present, more observant, and more at peace than I can remember. I felt completely free.

As I boarded my flight home on Saturday, I felt something that, until then, I’d only seen in others and never really understood. After years of careful planning and fearing scarcity, I was finally giving myself the freedom to overfill my glass a little. It felt fantastic.

The best part about financial freedom is that anyone can get it. Yes, as Jonathan Clements says, “Growing wealthy is embarrassingly simple: We save as much as we reasonably can, take on debt cautiously, limit our exposure to major financial risks, and try not to be too clever with our investing.” (Read my blog Money really can buy happiness for more on that great topic.) That’s why having a solid financial plan is vital for anyone. There’s no doubt that there’s a fine balance between knowing that you’ve planned to achieve abundance and trusting your plan will deliver what you need for the future. But achieving financial freedom—that buoyancy that enables you to trust in your own abundance—is as much about a mindset as it is about finance.

For years I’ve preached the value of striving for financial freedom to anyone who would listen. Today I can say I finally have that freedom myself. In the ocean, I now trust that I have enough air to sustain me for the duration of my dive. Back on land (or up in the air in business-class!), I now trust that I have enough resources to sustain me for the rest of my life—even if I allow myself to overfill my glass now and then. That is true financial freedom. I hope you can meet me there!

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All written content on this site is for information purposes only. Opinions expressed herein are solely those of Lauren S. Klein, President, Klein Financial Advisors, Inc. Material presented is believed to be from reliable sources and we make no representations as to its accuracy or completeness. Read More >