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Lauren’s blog covers topics that impact your finances, your family, and your future. Is there a topic you’d like Lauren to tackle? We’d love your suggestions and feedback.

From smart homes to smart finances, it’s time to learn some new tricks!

From smart homes to smart finances, it’s time to learn some new tricks!

My recent trip to Amsterdam was great in many ways. I explored a new culture with an old friend and had time to reflect on how to live a great life here at home. My first step: to (finally!) get a ‘smart’ home. If you saw this blog post I wrote back in May, you know that I’ve been living in technology hell for quite a while. My tools were outdated and, quite honestly, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I had a problem I knew I couldn’t solve alone.

Thankfully Jason, my tech guru, was just a phone call away. After I landed in Southern California, I scheduled time for him to come to my house and do some serious diagnostics. What he found was a collection of technology—some great, others not so great—that wasn’t even being put to use. I had an Alexa that I barely used. I had decade-old TVs that weren’t connected to the Internet. I had a fancy tuner that, while it was once all I needed for great sound quality, couldn’t do the job anymore. As technology had advanced, my trusted tuner had quickly become a dinosaur. While I listened to Jason explaining all of the things we could do to make my home smarter, I realized it was time for this old dog (me!) to learn some new tricks.

I gave Jason the green light to transform my house, and we had a blast doing it together. He installed three new Amazon Fire TVs that I control with a Firestick and an Alexa voice remote. I have a Nest thermostat to control the temperature in every room of my house and Lutron switches to control my lights. Jason used some of my old beloved equipment—my favorite speakers—to support the new technology, so now all I have to do is tell Alexa what to play, and I have better sound than ever. I’m finally on my way to achieving my dream of true technology nirvana.

Being me, I have to compare my own technology planning to my world of financial planning. Just as I resisted solving my technology problems, many people resist doing what’s necessary to transform their financial lives. Why? I hear the same reasons over and over again from our clients who finally took the plunge after years or even decades of procrastination:

"I was embarrassed to show someone else the details of my money.”

"I knew I had a problem, but I didn’t know the cause. I didn’t know what I didn’t know!”

"My brother told me I should do it myself.”

"I thought it was just about investing.”

"I had no idea what to expect from a financial advisor.”

"I didn’t know how to find a financial advisor I could trust.”

"I didn’t realize how much professional help could change my financial life.”

Every reason is valid. Luckily, they can all be solved with just a little bit of knowledge.

If you’re embarrassed about sharing your finances, know that financial advisors have seen it all! Our mission is to help you gain greater confidence and reach your goals—not chastise you for past mistakes. It’s okay to ask for help when you know you have a problem. Even better, ask for help when you see a financial opportunity… or expect there may be one lurking in the unknown. Yes, an advisor can help with that, too.

When working with a financial advisor, every firm’s approach is different. At Klein Financial Advisors, we use a consultative process that focuses on your own goals, priorities, and values, and gives you a clear roadmap to get you from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow. Don’t be intimidated by the process. A good advisor will hold your hand every step of the way. Just know that we are here to do one thing: help.

If you don’t know how to find an advisor you can trust, I recommend reading the Pursuit of a Financial Advisor Field Guide from NAPFA, the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors. From decoding advisor credentials and walking through compensation models, to outlining the elements of financial planning and understanding the importance of the Fiduciary Standard, the Field Guide is packed with the information you need to select the right advisor for you.

How much can working with a professional help change your financial life? Just ask anyone who has taken the plunge. The change is often dramatic—sometimes in riches, and almost always in the newfound financial confidence that goes hand in hand with having a personalized, long-term plan.

Financial planning is vastly more important than creating a ‘smart home,’ but it can be just as fun and satisfying. Like any new venture, there will also be benefits you could never anticipate. My new smart home came with a bonus: a new friendship. Jason is a quintessential millennial, which makes him quite a contrast to my usual circle of friends. When Jason saw my scuba gear in the garage, he told me diving was something he’s always wanted to do, but never acted on. I shared the name and number of a great scuba coach in the area. In the 12+ hours we were planning, shopping, and working together, we shared great restaurants nearby, pondered the challenges of living alone, and even ‘tested’ out one of my new TVs by watching videos of dogs riding on Roombas (yes, that’s a thing, and yes, we laughed our heads off!). The experience made me realize how much I miss hanging out with younger people and how enriching those relationships can be.

Perhaps my next personal challenge will be to foster intergenerational relationships. (You can read more about how others are making it happen in this article in the Harvard Business Review.) If you’re not already working with a financial advisor, I hope you make that your own next mission. Trust me; an old dog really can learn new tricks. And the benefits are well worth the effort.

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Ready to shift your relationship with money? It’s time for some BRAVING

Ready to shift your relationship with money? It’s time for some BRAVING

I joke that I discovered Brené Brown in much the same way Columbus discovered America: I simply stumbled into the right place at the right time. And boy, am I glad I did. In just one Ted Talk and as much of her newest book as I’ve had the time to read (I’m not quite through, but I’m cherishing every word), this researcher and storyteller has me thinking deeply about vulnerability and bravery and how to build the courage to be “enough” for myself and others in order to live the fullest life possible.

What’s fascinating to me as a financial advisor is how much all of these ideas play into what I see every day with my clients—and how vulnerability, bravery, and courage impact each person’s sense of financial “success.”

If you’ve never heard of Brené Brown, I highly recommend taking some time out of your day to check her out. A social science researcher, she is a stickler for data and a mid-life convert to the power of vulnerability (listen to her Ted Talk for more on her journey). Through her research, Brown has studied people—mostly women—who experience love and belonging in their lives and those who don’t. What’s the difference? It’s shockingly simple. People who have love and belonging believe they are worthy of it. Those who don’t, don’t. Even more, it seems that what empowers people to achieve that state of worthiness—of believing they can be and deserve to be loved—is the courage to be vulnerable.

Courage and vulnerability resonate with me. In my life, I’ve observed that many of us seem to have lost our ability to be vulnerable. Perhaps it’s because we spend too much time in our bubbles. Alone and watching other people’s lives on social media or television. Alone commuting in our cars. Alone walking in a crowd with headphones in our ears, shutting out the world around us. Being alone has become our safe place where we are not judged or confronted or questioned. And it’s where we can choose specifically not to feel.

I think Brown hits the crux of it when she speculates that the reason we’re the most in debt, obese, and medicated adult population in history is because we’ve become completely uncomfortable with our vulnerability. When we feel exposed or conflicted or anxious, we choose to numb our feelings through food, alcohol or Facebook. Further, her research shows that there’s another way we numb our vulnerability, and that is to make everything in our lives certain. We no longer leave room in our public and private lives for reflection or uncertainty about our faith, our politics, and our preferences. It’s created an unsavory divisiveness in which everything is black or white. We’re labeled, and we label others in all-too-certain terms. We blame others as a way of discharging our fears. We use certainty as just one more tool to numb our vulnerability. As a result, we feel more judged, and, indeed, more vulnerable.

Perhaps the most important idea Brown presents is that numbing our feelings of vulnerability has an unintended consequence. Because we’re not capable of being selective about which feelings we numb, when we numb our vulnerability, we also numb joy, happiness, love—all of the feelings that make us happy and content as human beings. If there’s ever been a reason to nurture our vulnerability, this is certainly it!

As these ideas are all swimming around in my head, I keep coming back to how important it is to invite vulnerability into the financial planning process. If vulnerability is the key to more fulfilling relationships, it follows that it can have a dramatic impact on our relationships with money which, just like every other relationship, can come with a whole lot of baggage. Love. Fear. Anxiety. Shame. Obsession. The list goes on.

In Brown’s new book Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone, she uses the word “BRAVING” as an acronym for the seven rules for building more connected relationships rooted in trust and vulnerability. It’s amazing to me how each of these statements can relate directly to every relationship—including our relationship with money:

  • Boundaries: I trust you if you are clear about your boundaries and you hold them, and I am clear about my boundaries, and you respect them.
     
  • Reliability: I trust you if you do what you say you are going to do. Not once, but over and over again.
     
  • Accountability: I trust you if, when you make a mistake, you are willing to own it, apologize for it, and make amends. And when I make a mistake I am allowed to do the same.
     
  • VaultWhat I share with you, you will hold in confidence, and what you share with me, I will hold in confidence.
     
  • Integrity: Choosing courage over comfort, choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, and easy. And practicing your morals, not just preaching them.
     
  • Non-judgement: You can fall apart and ask for help and not be judged by me.
     
  • Generosity: If I mess up, say something, or forget something, you will make the most generous assumption and check in with me.

I have strived to foster and live up to each of these values when I work with clients, but Brown has brought some valuable clarity to my thinking. I wonder if BRAVING may just be the key to help shift not just how we interact with each other, but also how we look at and feel about money. Brown says that when we are vulnerable, “We feel the deepest connection to our true self and to what matters most.” What a wonderful foundation on which to create a Brave New Financial Plan.

 

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All written content on this site is for information purposes only. Opinions expressed herein are solely those of Lauren S. Klein, President, Klein Financial Advisors, Inc. Material presented is believed to be from reliable sources and we make no representations as to its accuracy or completeness. Read More >