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What would you change if you were rich?

What would you change if you were rich?

I’m a theatre lover, so it won’t surprise you that I know the lyrics to “If I Were a Rich Man” from the classic musical Fiddler on the Roof by heart. In the song, Tevye sings about how his life would change if he were, indeed, a rich man. For the peasant Tevye, his dreams are pretty simple. But have you ever asked yourself how you would change your life if you were rich?

I sat down with Jack and Mary last week and asked this very question. Both recently retired, they’re financially fortunate. They have been very careful with their money, have saved a significant amount and, as icing on the cake, five years ago they received a large family inheritance. Logic would say that they should be able to relax now and simply enjoy the benefits of a well-planned, well-funded retirement. But when it comes to money, logic doesn’t always prevail. Instead of enjoying their assets, they focus on being frugal—to an extreme. And because Jack is even less comfortable spending money than Mary is, it’s a source of tension in their relationship.

To help de-stress the situation, I gave Jack a little homework: I asked him to simply write down what he’d do differently if he felt rich. When I read his answers, I couldn’t help but think of Tevye’s simple dreams. Why? Because while they aren’t the dreams of a fictional peasant, Jack’s dreams are almost as simple., Jack said that if he felt rich, he would eat more sushi, buy more books on his Kindle, and eat out at nice restaurants more often. If he felt really wealthy, he said he would think about replacing his 10-year-old car, fly first-class on an airplane (at least once!), and treat himself to a new camera. Even in his wildest dreams, Jack is anything but a spendthrift!

My good friend Ava is another example of someone who has turned frugality into an art form. Divorced when her children were still small, she was determined to create a financially sound life for herself and her family. She spent as little as possible, saving every penny she could in jars labeled as “lunch money.” Today Ava’s “lunch money” amounts to tens of thousands of dollars. She may not be rich (yet), but she’s well on her way to a very comfortable retirement. The problem? She rarely lets her frugal mindset—or herself—take a luxury vacation. Over the years, I’ve done everything I can to persuade her to use some of her savings to do things that will make her happy today.

Happily, we’ve made great progress. I’ve had more than a few calls lately that burst with excitement: “Lauren, you’ll be so proud of me!” Ava is finally remodeling her home (something we’ve talked about for over a decade!), and she’s now planning to go to a yoga retreat… in Hawaii. I couldn’t be happier for her. She’ll never overspend, but at least she’s allowing herself to enjoy the fruits of her labor—and her “lunch money.”

If you’ve built your life around saving, it can be quite a challenge to suddenly change your mindset, no matter what the numbers tell you. As an advisor, I know that I can’t solve internal problems with external solutions. You can look at all the charts and projections in the world, but that won’t change how you feel on the inside, and that’s what matters most when it comes to financial confidence and peace of mind. So what’s the answer?

Start by recognizing that the process is different for everyone, and that it takes time. Just as it can be difficult for someone who has overspent their entire life to put boundaries on their spending habits, if you’ve never let yourself feel comfortable spending—even when you have the money to spend—it can be difficult to open your wallet without feeling those old pangs of guilt.

The next step is to take a close look at your assets and your budget. Are you under-spending? If so, do you know why? Are you scared of outliving your money? Did your parents teach you that saving was “right” and spending was “wrong”? Perhaps start by journaling about it to get to your essential truth. Ask yourself why you have trouble spending. And if you’re ready to have some fun, ask yourself the Tevye question: How you would change your life if you were rich? Your answers may surprise you!

Of course, finding the level of spending that’s right for you is a balancing act, and very few of us have such unlimited assets that we can completely forget about budgeting. A trusted advisor can help you understand how much money you have today, establish a realistic budget based on your cash flow, and help you start to internalize your boundaries moving forward. It can be a freeing experience, but it has to come from the inside.

My friend Donna is newly widowed, and understanding how to set her spending boundaries is a learning process. She calls me often for help. “Can I buy this?” she asks. My reply is always the same: “I don’t know… tell me, exactly how long are you going to live?” We both laugh, and then we move on to the reality of helping her find her new balance. It will come. Until then, I just keep reminding her that she does have assets. Her real challenge is to gain the confidence and peace of mind to know she’s not overspending, while still being generous to herself. Donna deserves it. Don’t you?

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Money really can buy happiness!

Money really can buy happiness!

We’ve all heard it said a million times: money can’t buy happiness. Well, I’m here to tell you some great news! It seems money can buy happiness after all. There’s a catch, though. It doesn’t happen in the way you might think. But stop. Let me back up for a minute to share with you how all this started swimming around in my head, and why I can’t stop thinking about it.

Last weekend, I had some precious time to read, and I picked up Jonathan Clements’s book How to Think About Money. What drew me to the title wasn’t Clements himself, or even the fact that I’m always up for new ideas about money and finance. The attraction was the fact that William J. Bernstein wrote the foreword to the book, and I’m a big fan of his. (His book If You Can: How Millennials Can Get Rich Slowly is simply fantastic.) So I dove in, and I am absolutely thrilled I did. One of the reviews of the book called it “financial feng shui,” and I agree completely. The book includes five steps covering “how to think about money.” The first step covers (you guessed it) happiness. Specifically, how to buy more happiness. If you thought it wasn’t possible, Clements offers some valuable food for thought.

First, he points out that we simply aren’t very good at figuring out what will make us happy. That’s probably no news to anyone. So many of us live the majority of our lives doing work we don’t enjoy, commuting way too many hours of every day to get to that work, and then coming home exhausted to a home that costs us way too much time, energy, and money to afford and maintain. Clements recognized the conundrum, and he turned to research on happiness to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Here are just a handful of the things he learned from the academics:

  1. “Money can buy happiness, but not nearly as much as we imagine.” 
    All of us have purchases that make us happy, but how happy do they make us over the long term? Is buying the new car more exciting than how we feel driving it six months down the road (pun intended!)? And how dependent is our happiness on our own comparison of the “stuff” we own compared to our friends and neighbors? I may be thrilled with my new Hyundai…until I look around and see myself surrounded by BMWs and Mercedes. And yet, if my parents always drove older cars because they couldn’t afford new ones, I may feel thrilled to realize I’ve upped the ante, at least in this regard. Happiness is complicated! But ultimately it’s up to us to choose how we lead our lives—including how we live and, yes, how we spend our money.

  2. “We’re often happier when we have less choice, not more.” 
    Think about it: decisions are stressful! Even little things like deciding what to wear each morning can cause some stress. Bigger decisions—like where to live or which job to take—can keep us up at night and lead to some very real anxiety. I remember when I first read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo, I was struck by just how much stuff I’d accumulated… and spent my hard-earned money on! When I started asking myself if all of these belongings really “sparked joy,” I was surprised at how little of them did. (For more thoughts on getting rid of all that stuff, read my blog It’s that time of year: change is on the horizon.) Ultimately, it’s not the stuff that brings us joy. There’s something much better that money can buy.

  3. “We place too high a value on possessions and not enough on experiences.” 
    So if our “stuff” doesn’t define us and make us happy, what does? Experiences. Specifically, experiences with family and friends. Interestlingly, anticipation is a big part of the equation. I know when I’m planning a vacation, the anticipation is half the joy! But even more, experiences create memories that become part of the fabric of who we are. At Christmas, I decided to take my whole family to see Disney’s wonderful new movie Moana. We all went together, sat in the big, comfy seats, munched on treats, and had a great time. Every one of us walked out of the theater happy and filled with memories that will last a very long time. Was it expensive? Yes! But no more than an Apple watch. And while my grandson may have been happy in the moment as he slipped a new watch on his wrist, I know this experience was much more worthwhile. It made us all truly happy.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg— just step one out of five—but I hope it’s enough to get your wheels turning and wondering “what really makes me happy?” Everyone wants and needs to have enough money to live. That’s a given. But how we spend that money really can buy us happiness, but only if we make careful, deliberate choices based on what will bring us happiness over the long term.

I must add that being able to make these choices in the first place requires achieving some level of wealth to begin with. As Clements writes in his introduction, “Growing wealthy is embarrassingly simple: We save as much as we reasonably can, take on debt cautiously, limit our exposure to major financial risks, and try not to be too clever with our investing.” And if that seems simple, but not easy, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . As always, I’m here to help!

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09 November 2016

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All written content on this site is for information purposes only. Opinions expressed herein are solely those of Lauren S. Klein, President, Klein Financial Advisors, Inc. Material presented is believed to be from reliable sources and we make no representations as to its accuracy or completeness. Read More >