Unfortunately, the decision didn’t play out in real life as well as it had on paper.
First, our second son was born with a mild disability. That alone tipped the financial and emotional scales. Jumping through hoops to get a diagnosis and then therapy two or three times a week was hard. Soon afterward, the recession hit, and with it came the end of the consulting income we had counted on to help replace my salary. Even worse, my husband didn’t want to add any more stress to an already high-stress situation, so he postponed admitting that his side business had completely dried up. Our plan of just breaking even quickly turned into the reality of taking on debt. Now the numbers didn’t make sense. How could I go back to work when my younger son needed me at home and my older son had grown accustomed to having me at home with him too?
At the same time, I was in a world of the unknown. I’d been a businesswoman my entire life. I was home with a special-needs child, I knew only a handful of my neighbors, and the few stay-at-home moms I was able to meet had never worked, so our experiences were completely different. I felt isolated and alone. And while it was a difficult choice to go back to work, money was just one piece of the equation. I was confident my choice would be best for our whole family, and it truly was. Within months of going back to work, I felt we had found balance again. Yes, I missed the time with my sons, but I knew I was a better mother when we were together as I watched the financial and emotional stresses wash away.
Everyone’s situation is different. The key to making the best choice for you is to understand the true financial impact of staying at home, and then to decide what makes sense for you and your family—both today and over the long term. How can you be sure your emotions aren’t overriding your common sense? Work with a professional advisor to help you crunch the numbers and be sure you’re really considering every piece of the puzzle.